Just as the title claims, I'm making up for the lack of MMA ariticle this week by, how you say, writing any random thing that comes to my head nonstop. For those of you with no interest in just how utterly random my thoughts can be, don't bother reading further.

How come they don't make gingerbread men small enough to fit into their houses? And why are their houses made of the same things gingerbread men are made from? Wouldn't that just be really really nasty? And how do we get more gingerbread men? I don't see many gingerbread women, and if I did I don't know how they could make little gingerbread babies. Would gingerbread babies be like animal crackers? That box does sort of look like a crib. Animal crackers is like a utopia of small slightly sweet animal shaped bread stuffs. You have a lion in there with giraffes and elephants. The rhinos are the same size as the donkeys. Are they saying that if put in animal cracker form all the species of the animal kingdom would scale to the same size? If so then would that work with other things? Maybe that's why gingerbread men can't fit into their houses. But if that's the case how big are they normally? You don't see any giant gingerbread men running around. And I know they run. There's a whole nursery rhyme about it. And nursery rhymes don't lie. Why would our parents coo lies to us in our sleep? For that matter, why would they want our first bout with literature to be so bloody basic? Little jack horner sat in a corner eating a pumpkin pie. He stuck out his thumb and pulled out a plumb and said 'Oh what a good boy am I!' How does that make sense?! His mom put a plumb in pumpkin pie? And why is he sitting in a corner while he eats it? Is he on time out? Is his mother forcing him to eat weird hybrid pie? Then why is he saying he's a good boy? And can't you give that kid a dang fork? Or even a spoon? Maybe he's eating it ala mode? And it's plumb ice cream with pumpkin pie? If that's the case then why didn't they just say so?!

How come I can't type in the word catgirl in the google image search without having to sift through all the soft core kitty porn? But I think what bothers me the most about it is how detailed and skillful it's drawn. There are so many pictures of catgirls I would love if they were just wearing a mite more clothing. And while I'm complaining, how come catgirls look so surprised all the time? Were they not expecting to be drawn? I guess the artists just think they look cute that way, but really it seems demeaning. I don't know about you, but I haven't seen a lot of real cats that weren't fiercely independent and proud. So how come their catgirl counterparts seem to be skittish? Is that the only thing that catgenes can incorporate into human DNA?

I know that corn is useful for many things other than delicious eats. Apparently you can make fuel out of it. That and moonshine. I wonder if moonshine has a corn taste to it? Oh no wait, they make moonshine out of cough medicine...no...hang on...I think that's crack. Yeah, crack out of cough meds, moonshine out of corn and whatever the hell else can strip paint off your walls. I should really repaint my room. The white on it now is flaking off in spots where I had tape or that sticky gummy stuff. That stuff rocks. Except when it peels my paint off that is. I wonder which is more exciting; watching paint dry or watching grass grow? I'm inclined to think grass grow because if it's spring or summer you might get the occasional bug. Then again if you sit close enough to paint drying you might think you're being attacked by giant bugs. That would be more exciting, except you're destroying your brain and lungs that way. So I guess watching paint dry is more of an extreme sport. You know what I saw the other day? X-TREEM corn nuts. I'm not kidding. It says on the packet corn gone bad and the corn guy has this really mean face on him. He's like the bad arse gangsta thug of corn stalks I guess. At least Little Debbie doesn't X-TREEM her stuff. Twinkies! I'm personally not a fan of the twinkie. If I absolutely must destroy my colon I can do it with swiss rolls, but some people can't get enough of the things. I'm sure there's a restaurantin cali that probably sells them deep fried, dipped in chocolate, or ground into a fine powder so you can inhale them off a hooker's back. Of course if you're inhaling Twinkie dust off a hooker you have a whole new set of problems. Mainly you probably spent all your money on the hooker and therefor didn't have enough for crack. Unless the hooker is your girlfriend. Do they give discounts for that? You'd think they would, but I guess it's the same as a massage therapist taking work home everyday for his or her boyfriend. They say that a Twinkie can outlast a nuclear holocaust, but I bet it would snuff out the cockroaches left to eat it. Nah, cockroaches are smarter than that. Can you imagine cockroaches up the evolutionary chain though? Especially fueled by radiation? If we can believe everything comics tell us they'll all have super cockroach powers. Yes! That is our ultimate future folks! Super cockroaches! Da da da daaah! It's SUPER COCKROACH FROM THE FUTURE!

DING! Muffins are ready! There, that should be enough to appease yon frothing masses.