From the intro theme one can already tell that this show didn't cater to the intelligent eight year old girl by our heroine Jem's repetition of insisting that Jem, Jem is her name. It does have some rather nice, fluid motion to it, but unfortunately that's the only thing this show has going for it.

The first episode speeds through the introduction in about fifteen minutes. The main character Jerrica (Yes, Jerrica, Jerrica is her name.) has just lost her father, but gained a record company, a house full of orphaned girls, a very realistic holographic woman who is suspiciously similar to Gaia from Captain Planet only not nearly as cool, and a closet full of women's clothes that's been kept in a secret lair.

I think you can see where this is going. In fact, you'll find that's true in most of the episodes.

I would give a detailed summary of the first episode, but to be honest, Byrd Man of Retrojunk.com did a way better job of it than I could already. I thought about giving the show a girl's perspective, but I found myself saying pretty much the same things he did. So instead of just rehashing an already amusing review just click the link and read his.

I can, however, give you a list of the characters you'll find in the show. If you plan to watch it then, trust me, you're going to need this.

Goodies

Jerrica Benton/Jem: This is our main protagonist. The plot pretty much revolves around her and keeping her secret identity as Jem a secret. She's supposed to be the nicest person in the world, a real Disney Cinderella type, but really, she's just a bitch. Oh sure, she runs an orphanage for young girls, and is generally nice to everyone she meets to a puke inducing degree, but when you see her with her boyfriend you really get to see who she is. You see, Jerrica has decided to not tell her boyfriend Rio that she is two people. Not really a big deal if not for the fact that she continues to act as if they're a couple while being Jem, and then getting jealous of Jem when he starts to reciprocate the feelings she's been practically throwing at him. If she and Rio have a fight, she'll become Jem and all is right with the world again. She never tells him who she really is. Not even at the end of the series. Bitch.

Rio Pacheco: That isn't to say that Rio isn't without fault. Yes, he is quite possibly the only redeemable character in the show, but he's also one dimensional. He's strong, intelligent, good hearted, and handsome. In fact, he has no flaws whatsoever, and that is a bad thing. The closest he gets to a flaw is in the Midsummer Night's Madness episode where Jerrica takes on another identity named Jamie and hits on him again. Not surprisingly he falls for her. The episode plays it off as Rio being so in love with her that he loves her no matter what she looks like. It's a bit more likely that he's got a fetish for girls who sound like Jerrica.

Kimber Benton: Kimber is Jerrica's sister, and the bitch gene runs in the family. She supposedly plays keyboard and write the music for the band, but that's not shown as prominently as her willingness to date any man that's remotely cute and even gets caught dating two at once in an episode and has no idea what's so wrong about that. She plays off as being the innocent one, sweet and adorable, with an occasional plot reserved for her just to show her getting jealous as a frantic attempt at depth.

Aja Leith: You would think with such brightly colored hair it wouldn't be so easy to confuse characters, but it is. Aja is lead guitarist, and I think she's supposed to be some sort of Asian. I can't really give you much on her. She hardly has any screen time, and thus rarely gets my attention.

Shana Elmsford: Ah, Shana. She's the drummer for the first season then moves to guitar. She's also a fashion designer and create the outfits that the band wears. This seems sort of silly since they have a hologram that projects their clothing onto them and a closet full in an underground lair, but Shana needed something to do to make her stand out. That's right, Shana is the only black character and she needed to be a clothing designer for people to notice her existence. I'm not sure if that's sad or liberating.

Carmen 'Raya' Alonso: Raya shows up in the second season to play drums. She's a shy girl and doesn't get a lot of development time beyond her intro episode. In it we learn that her father is the florist, and that even when his greenery is threatened and gobs of money is thrown at her she won't betray Jem, who she'd met for about five minutes max when the deal was given to her. Easily a very likable character, which is a problem. All of the character's are incredibly likable and thus it makes them impossible to tell apart. Raya didn't even get added to the introduction theme in season 3, and I'm not sure anyone noticed.

Synergy: Synergy, without whom the show wouldn't even be possible. She is a computer that gets nearly no screen time at all, but doesn't really need it. She was supposedly built by Jerrica's father, which would hint towards him being a super genius, but having met his offspring I'm pretty sure Synergy is really just an alien that crash landed on the planet with no memories and so he just made some up so she'd be willing to partake in his 'I'm a pretty lesbian' fetishes. Synergy does get some spotlight in Midsummer Night's Madness, but it's as a sage and wisdom sort. Nothing spectacularly illuminating.

The Baddies

Phyllis 'Pizzazz' Gabor: This woman is rich, angsty, and on permanent PMS mode. She's the lead singer and guitarist of the Misfits. A group that gets in Jem's way so much that I'm surprised there was never a restraining order put out on her. It's pretty obvious when they first enter the scene that she is an angry angry woman who needs a good deep dicking.

Roxanne 'Roxy' Pellegrini: I know nothing about Roxy other than she's just as much a horrid wench as Pizzazz.

Mary 'Stormer' Phillips: Stormer is the sweet hearted talented girl of the group. She's in the group only to make the Misfits a tad less hateable. It doesn't really work though. Stormer, while sweet, is also a total pushover, and often acts just as bitchy as her friends do.

Sheila 'Jetta' Burns:Jetta is the most racist stereotype in the show as the angry Brit rocker. I guess that's a point in their favor?

Eric Raymond: Eric is pretty obviously evil upon meeting him. His squinty eyes, devil horn styled hair, angry disposition, and infinitely padded pockets makes him instantly hateable. The slightest bit of development he gets is in The Singer and the Princess where he shows that while he's more than happy to ruin Jerrica's life and career, he doesn't actually want her dead. Good save there, Eric.

Rory "Riot" Llewelyn: Riot is the lead singer of the Stingers and apparently the most handsome man in the universe. I say apparently because it doesn't translate well on screen. I'm sure if I met the man in real li-oh right. Riot's power over women points to him either having magical powers, or he really is the most awesome man in existence in the same way that Keith Richards is. He's also completely manipulative and has real control issues. Again, probably like Keith Richards.

Phoebe "Rapture" Ashe: Rapture is a conartist, but not a very good one from what I've seen. She gets some development time in Midsummer Night's Madness and That Old Houdini Magic.

Ingrid "Minx" Krueger: Minx is pretty full of herself, but she honestly has every right to be. Until she gets to the whole 'I have real talent' part. She honestly does care about the band though, as proven in That Old Houdini Magic where she actually saves Rapture's life.

Also, there's been rumor that the creator of Jem, Christy Marx, wants to revive and modernize it. I imagine it'll be a lot like what these girls have already done. In fact, I'm taking bets on it.

No one else is the same,
Serenity Frost